Teachers Day 2007 officially ended yesterday, and what did I say in my previous blog entry about this year not being as memorable as the last few?? Well i was taken aback and now I have to eat my words, for this year's teachers day was very memorable, but for all the wrong reasons I guess..

I dont know if its just me or what, but I set a very high expectation for myself regarding this event, and personally I felt I didnt achieve the goals I set out for myself...

I got the chance to read a few people's blogs regarding this event, and well i cant really judge if this event went well due to the fact that there were mixed reviews. While some said that this was officially one of the most disappointing teachers day yet, there were others that commented that this was the best...

Which led me thinking, how do I judge how well the thing went?? Personally we planned it such that it would end early and that it would promote interaction between teachers and students.. SOme said we did a great job and there were lots of interaction, but others just thought it was so boring and the items were so short.

I reflect back when we were discussing about this issue. I knew there was absolutely NO way we would please the students, if we set lots of items, some will complain that its too lengthy and that they wanna go back for teachers day at their secondary schools, but when we set short ones, they complain its not worth their time coming to school.. well, this shows no matter how hard u try, you cannot please everybody..

Relating to a fellow councillors blog, I totally agree with what he/she had to say regarding the event. It might seem like some typical boring event, but what HURTS big time is the preparation beforehand, all the blood, sweat, sleepless nights, fears, pain, and the nice part is only WE know how it feels like whilst we have to actually endure the criticism people throw at us...

Who knew I had to stay back late on wednesday and thursday up till 11 pm doing the final preparations as I finished up my logistics part for teachers day, in turn making me reach home at 1 am for both nights?

Who knew I had to forgo my homework and EOM till i didnt sleep for two WHOLE days just to complete my work after reaching home in the wee hours of the morning?

Who knew I had to forgo my studies to complete my part for teachers day, so while other friends of mine stay in school to night study and all, i stay in school for council work?

Who knew I was down with tremendous pressure all these while, putting up with the behaviours of certain people who take my work for granted, topped up with all the work I have to redo due to my council IC and teacher giving it back to me?

Forgive me, i'm not trying to complain here, but my point is, who knew I had to endure ALL these as i juggled my council job with my academics, not mentioning that promos are round the corner... I worked so hard, and I think it is all just pointless as nobody actually appreciates all the hard work we put in..

Time and again, i keep asking myself, why did I make this decision? It has been a decision I made back in secondary school, and it continued into my JC term.. I had such sweet memories back in BP council, so despite the fact that we were treated so miserably by the population, i didnt really seem to mind cause I had these people who stood by me as I went through this period...

In fact, once upon a time, I actually promised myself not to join council, but look where I am now.. People have mistaken me for power hungry, but so be it. Thats not the reason why I joined council, i wanted to groom myself and take on the challenges in my way, to prove to people that just like them I too could succeed...

However, no i dont regret this decision, and you have my word i'll do all it takes to bring the 30th soaring up, despite the fact i am only a humble member of the 30th!

YEs, teachers day 2007 will be a memorable one for me, for this was the event that made me stressed up, the event which stretched me beyond my elasticity, and most of all, the event which made me cry.

Just FYI, to those of you still wondering, i actually broke down for the first time throughout my WHOLE life as a councillor.. It all happened during our AAR, and as we looked back, and it was my turn to speak, I proceeded to tell the others of what I felt and my brutally honest opinions. But then the pressure was too great. All these pressure I have been feeling I let go, mounted up with the feeling of anger and sadness I felt within myself. I thought I was unfairly treated sometimes, but most of all, I thought I failed...So yea, as I addressed the council, I just broke down, and I could not even finish what I set out to address the council...

Well, this is a new experience to me, but nonetheless, I am thankful for those people that cheered me on and comforted me as I was in that state where I felt I was a complete failure..

So thanks a million SYIMAH, LOSHINI, PINRU, HUEI MINN, CHAN DI, NINA, INEZ, CHU YI, WEINI, MY CLASSMATES, and the rest, for being with me throughout this whole period and comforting me, for listening to me when I had things to let out, but most importantly, spurring me on to succeed...

LOVE U GUYS! =) Thanks alot again guys..

But anyways, THANKS 30th for helping out in the event and putting your all to this event... Really, it meant alot to me, just that I didnt show it... HAHA! and to Huei Minn, if ure reading this, YOU DID GREAT! i love working with ya, seriouslY!

I feel this blog entry reflects all the feelings I had lately... Though its with very mixed emotions, I hope I have let u guys into an insight to how my mind was these few weeks... So how i acted in school these few weeks was not me at all... All these while I tried to look cheerful and happy in school, but the blog entry above was what I was actually feeling..

NEVER MIND, IM PROUD TO SAY, TEACHERS DAY IS OVER AND ZULHAFIZ IS BACK! :)